Once more, the mind is darkened with new uncertainties. Even so, we are back to our old ways – except for an unexplainable attachment to gadgets after the pandemic. For many of us, it seems like we have entered a never-ending loop-loop of addiction, loneliness, fear and helplessness.
When I sit and ponder upon the years that passed by, my thoughts search for answers-answers for giving oneself such a long break from penning down-I failed to find the reason for such a long block. I struggled with pull and push for over a year. God knows what stopped me from pouring out my thoughts!! However, deep in my heart, I believed I never give up. Such an attitude is incredible about humans-even if we fall-we brush dust aside and we walk again.
While thinking about the years gone by, I feel sad when I observe in our day-to-day lives how we forget to express gratitude, appreciation, and acknowledgement of the efforts of our home engineers.
Virginia Satir once said, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
While you cook a meal with immense affection, you eventually feel heartbroken due to a lack of appreciation and acknowledgement. It hurts when our loved ones take our everyday efforts for granted. Why do we fail to convey that we care, we recognize your efforts? Is it true that those who are always there to serve family members are taken for granted?
It is true that when we get used to something, we tend to stop valuing what we have -human nature. Daily activities such as tea/coffee, brushing, and bathing is done on autopilot mostly (until and unless we consciously practice mindfulness-based practices). Being on autopilot restricts us from appreciating the present moment- to bring us out of such mode as autopilot, we indulge in mindfulness-based activities.
Let us look at a similar situation where the only difference is that we are talking about people here instead of activities. What are we supposed to do when people in our lives are on autopilot mode? People in our lives are taken for granted as a result- no appreciation, no kind words, no acknowledgement.
Even employees in the office look for appraisal. Feedback is an integral aspect of every organization. Why do we fail to apply the concept of appreciation in our homes? Be it people, things, or our health – we show a taken-for-granted attitude at some phase in our lives. The way we live our lives, we assume that everyone will always be there. Some of us ignore our health due to lack of time-as if no ailment could touch us. We fail to acknowledge and appreciate people in our lives and our lives as well.
By being a full-time homemaker, or if I aptly put it-home engineer, supermom, home economist, or lady of the house or by being just a woman who strives to balance professional workspace and the home- she holds the family together with her love, affection, and dedication. Yet, what she receives in return?Nothing. As she is presumed to be there always.
As a result, her existence gradually fades due to a lack of supportive words, gestures, and appreciation. Being a wife, a mother, a daughter, and a sister exhausts her so much that she fails to recollect that she is also an individual. She loses her identity in chaos. It is our choice if we want to go out and work or if we want to take full-time responsibility as a homemaker. Wherever one would be or chooses to be, it dies its death in lack of kind words and appreciation. It hardly requires much effort to say – you have cooked a tasty meal, or I care for you, and I appreciate what you do for our family. We are because you are!!
No one knows what might be in store for us in the time ahead- hence, express what is in your heart-Kal Ho Na Ho!! Reveal your feeling, and show that you care- do whatever you want to show your love and affection-remember What we have is only the present moment. Kind words such as those would be enough for her to win over any battle-She would be ready to fight off any hurdles if she is valued, appreciated and not judged all the time.
We often fail to appreciate the true essence of a moment until it becomes a memory, and what is left behind is regret.
Anne frank once said, “Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude”.
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Happy Reading 🙂
Best Wishes-
Pallavi Sahu
Rehabilitation Psychologist
Fireflies : Sprinkle of Tranquility 